The Phases of Shopping

I recently haveย returned from a weeklong adventure to my favorite city- New York. I attended the Curve lingerie trade show Monday and Tuesday for work and then had some meetings on Wednesday, but then on Thursday and Friday, I was free to shop! Dangerous.

Since I traveled on my own, no one was there to really control me or scold me for the amount of cash I was erasing from my not so abundant supply of money.

New York will especially suck all the money out of your bank account.

How could you go into beautiful stores like Intermix, Chloe, Acne, and Opening Ceremony without buying something?! Please tell me how that would ever, ever be possible.

If you are as much of a shopping addict as I am, you probably have noticed that there seems to be a series of phases you go through while making your purchases. Here, I present them to you…

Phase I: PURE EXCITEMENT

This occurs right when you step into the store or boutique. Your heart pounds, you sweat a bit, and your eyes are like bouncing balls trying to take everything in.

Phase II: OH SHIT

This is when you start picking things out and trying them on or testing them out. You realize that everything is beautiful and you have to have everything…but then you see the price tag. Now, this phase may not occur if you’re in Forever 21 or Target or something like that, but when you’re in New York I guarantee you go into the most beautiful stores that you know may be a bit* pricier. That price tag literally jerks tears in your eyes and actually pains your soul.

*okay, a lot

Phase III:ย I’M DOING THIS

This is once when you’ve chosen what you may be able to afford and you bring your items, or item, proudly up to the register. You then scrounge through your purse for every last dollar you can find, or if you have the luxury, simply pull out a credit card.

Phase IV: I FORGOT ABOUT TAX

This phase is especially painful for those of us who reside, or just shop, in New York. The sales tax here usually ranges from 7.5-9%- bitch, what?!?!? Yup. This killsย when you get up to the register because then you’re like, wait I calculated that that would be like one hundred dollars less…looks like I’ll be pulling from my college fund!

Phase V: BUYERS REMORSE, BUT NOT

This is the absolute worst. This is when you’re like, “Shit. Why did I just spend my life’s savings at that one money-sucking black hole of a store?” But then you’re like,”But actually, I really love everything I got- can I just get back the amount of money I spent but keep the beautiful things?!” Sadly, this is not how it works though, so accept that you got some beautiful things and just spent that money you saved up for this exact purchase. Relax.

Chloe, oh beautiful, beautiful Chloe
Chloe, oh beautiful, beautiful Chloe

So friends, I know shopping can be fun, exciting, scary, and sad, but I guess we all just have to accept that these phases are a natural part of it and in the long run make it so much better- right?!